It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We're too hungover to prance.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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