she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
love makes seman taste better
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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