he shaved USA in his pubs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is Oprah even human
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
