i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
