i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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