help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
