How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
