The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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