My hand turned me down
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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