almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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