Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
