I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
