vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
