I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dick very happy bro
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
