I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
