sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
