rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
