it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
