i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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