the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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