my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
