I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
