meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
