If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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