I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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