The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
