the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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