I'm eating all of the evidence.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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