So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
