my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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