Me. At least after what I've been through.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
