Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's rum buckets o'clock
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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