no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
