It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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