There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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