He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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