Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
