I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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