I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
