My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
