Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
