Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
