I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
