dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
