I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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