grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
