i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
