...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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