??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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