i barfeds in our rink
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
