Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
