I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
